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Sunday, November 2, 2014

Frosty Prom



By Kelsie Bowler and 
Addison Butler

This has been a week of major developments in the Transmogony offices (aka Kelsie and Addison's respective living quarters and libraries). First, Taylor Swift dropped her fifth studio album and showed the world that it's not Beyonce that should be the object of our bowing down, but Ms. Swift. Second, Kelsie was chased after by a member of the opposite sex for the very first time (though the man was in fact a security guard under the impression she was committing an act of thievery at her school's library). Finally, our lives took a dramatic turn as we liberally applied harmful chemicals to our hairs to strip them of any natural color (or unnatural for that matter seeing that Kels had bleached her hair already once before) to reach a beautiful shade of ICY WHITE normally set aside for princesses of the snow. 

While we still might be a little high off 1989 and the lessons Kelsie learned form her run-in with the security guard have proven to be far more poignant than expected (ranging from "don't forget to make sure the librarians deactivate a sensor before vacating the premises" to "sometimes when you have a boy chasing you the only thing you can do is run. Run fast and run long because you never know what kind of trouble you're getting yourself in to"), but the matter that left the heaviest mark in our lives was the one involving hair bleach. 

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Wowbrows



By Kelsie Bowler

I have been #blessed, you see, for I am able to attend a reputable private university. However, this university is able to enforce a fairly strict standard of "dress and grooming" including regulations on the length of one's pant hem and neckline. While I do struggle with the desire to wear mid thigh length shorts for the few weeks in a school year in which they sound desirable, the facet of these "Dress and Grooming Standards" which is hardest for me to comply falls in the realm of hair color.

You see, the trendy mermaid/unicorn/rainbow-puke hair is vaguely outlawed for students who wish to be able to do things such as take tests or receive many other services with the statement: "Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles or colors".

Friday, October 10, 2014

Transitioning to Fall



By Addison Butler

There has always been something oddly comforting to me about having rules. Seeing signs demanding swimmers not to dive in the shallow end of a pool have bestowed upon me an astounding amount of security through the years, easing my internal anxiety caused by a natural inclination to assume the absolute bloodiest outcome in high-risk activities such as swimming and ping-pong. 

We seek rules for just about everything: How many rings can I wear before it’s considered “bad taste”? Which shirt best matches my skin tone? Is this bun all right? And to questions like these there are automated responses that seem to spurt out within a matter of seconds.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Faking It



By Kelsie Bowler

This should not be news, but @officialkelsieb is now a blonde.  In fact she has been a blonde for long enough that her brown roots have reclaimed over an inch of their territory.

Anyone with class and dignity would have popped right back to their beloved hair dresser's chair as soon as the roots became noticeable, but that happened for me a week after the initial procedure.  I then realized that if I had to go in every week to keep up this blonde facade I was going to a) be even more broke than I am, b) waste a lot of time in a hair dresser's chair when there are many other things that I would rather spend my time doing (i.e. making mac & cheese), and c) have to develop a relationship with my hairdresser and I honestly don't like her as a person that much.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Call for Fall



By Addison Butler

#September2k14 as we know it is less than a week away from eternal termination from our collective cognitive calendar That's chill until you realize there has been, like, maybe two full days of autumn-esque weather in Salt Lake this month. I don't know about you, but if you ask me that is a rather ridiculous fact to have to come to terms with. With only two official months left of the heralded season (one, if you reside in Utah where the odd winter-like season creeps in weeks before the rest of the Northern Hemisphere), it is apparent that there has been a devious withholding of happiness for Autumn lovers like me from that power hungry, fiendish lady we call Mother Nature. 

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

In Which a Character Charts Her Development



By Kelsie Bowler

As I write this, I am facing the harsh reality that tonight is the final chance to see One Direction on their stadium tour. I spent forty-three minutes this morning preparing myself for what I know will be a social media overload from those in a financial standing to go. Then I got restless, leading me to write this in an attempt to distract from my ultimate FOMO induced demise.

I got thinking, though, and it crossed my mind that I didn't mind so much. One year ago I would not have been able to handle this torture, seeing others bask in the glory of a boy-band has delighted my teenage fantasies for years. Especially tantalizing is the fact that of all the Instagrams posted from the concert, mine would have stood out like a shining star. A little over a year ago I did go see them. Easily (one of) the best days of my LIFE (#truelife). So why am I so content with not attending? The main reason is could probably be attributed to the severe lack of funds in my bank account, but instead I am going to refer to it as something far more eloquent: character development.